The Ace and Aro Relationship Guide (Group 5)
The Ace and Aro Relationship Guide by Cody Daigle-Orians
Alexa Mirola, Breanna Musharbash, Jake Melcer, William McCloud
Review:
The Aro Ace Relationship Guide by Cody Daigle-Orians is a book that frames itself as a guide to those seeking aromantic and/or asexual relationships. This is not an untrue observation as the book gives definitions to terms such as “amatonormativity” and “intersectionality” that are key to understanding the topics within the book. However, it is not just a guide but a story in which the author describes his own journey of understanding his own sexuality. He connects various points in his life with particular areas of study, citing researchers that also study aromance and/or asexual and providing theory from their work. This provides an example for students on citing material into a written work, and the proper punctuation needed to do so. Story is combined with reasoning and evidence in a format that is relatively easy to digest, organized within chapters and sectioned paragraphs to make the points that Daigle-Orians writes to us as the readers. Context is granted through these pieces of story from his life, making the work relatable to a great many readers as these take place in particular stages of his life like “high school”, “first girlfriend”, “Becoming a young adult”, among others. Daigle-Orians doesn’t profess to be the be all or end all to all things related to life and relationships, nor sexuality, but freely invites the reader to be the interpreter of the information they receive, allowing potential students to exhibit critical thinking within their own lives. However, this book may be somewhat dense with its formatting and likely requires the teacher to break up the book into sections and go through it in class with group discussions to help better understand the material. As such, it may be more appropriate to assign this book to higher grades such as seniors who are going out into the world soon.
What may be of particular interest to educators looking for a book for their students is the fact that The Aro Ace Relationship Guide provides an explanation of how to go about relationships in a healthy way: teaching everything from consent to how to deal with an ended relationship without falling into a pit of blame or despair. Students in high school are full of brewing emotions that churn into an unguided arrow darting through the forest of a life that they don’t quite have the experience to understand just yet. One of the most common ways that such an arrow ends up missing its mark is on the idea of love and relationships. Students may be struggling with sexuality, gender identity, or how to deal with the idea of intimacy and consent: topics that this book deals with, recognizes, and provides solutions and explanations that those children need. As opposed to shying away from intimate topics such as the idea of being unaccepted in a society that normalizes something you’re not or how to end a relationship properly instead of staying within it, The Aro Ace Relationship Guide provides not only a story to relate to but an actual guidebook that may help many a student to be more prepared for life itself.
Biography:
Cody Daigle-Orians, identifies as they/them, is a writer and asexuality educator living in Columbus, Ohio. They are the creators of Ace Dad Advice which is a social media-based asexuality education project made to help people while they are exploring asexuality or questioning their sexual orientation. Their passion for education and supporting queer youth stems from ten years in the classroom and many more as a teaching artist. For their online work, they are nominated for a 2023 British LGBTQ Award for Online Influencer. Daigle-Orians also holds training and workshops focused on ace and aro inclusion, as well as on sex and relationships through the eyes of ace and aro. They are the author of the young adult books I AM ACE: ADVICE ON LIVING YOUR BEST ASEXUAL LIFE and THE ACE AND ARO RELATIONSHIP GUIDE, and they are contributor to the 2024 Lambda Literary Award finalist anthology BEING ACE. They are queer, ace, and agender. In Daigle-Orians book he is speaking for those that feel like they are silenced. For those that feel lost and confused with their sexual orientation, he provides a helping hand and guidance to finding what is meant for you. Ace and Aro people who might be feeling anxiety or frustration because they are not understanding what they are feeling. Whether that be friendships, romantic relationships, causal dates or casual intimate partners, this book guides you through these frustrations and not only live in your ace and aro identity but also confidently share it with others. 
Instructional Resources:
Instructional Activity:
Preview:
California Common Core Standards:
Analyze a complex set of ideas or sequence of events and explain how specific individuals, ideas, or events interact and develop over the course of the text.
Determine the meaning of words and phrases as they are used in a text, including figurative, connotative, and technical meanings; analyze how an author uses and refines the meaning of a key term or terms over the course of a text (e.g., how Madison defines faction in Federalist No. 10).
Determine an author's point of view or purpose in a text in which the rhetoric is particularly effective, analyzing how style and content contribute to the power, persuasiveness or beauty of the text.
Apply knowledge of language to understand how language functions in different contexts, to make effective choices for meaning or style, and to comprehend more fully when reading or listening.
Resources and Preparation:
- Begin with a general overview of the book as a whole. Review major themes and plot points seen within the text.
- Have students discuss in a collaborative discussion, how their understanding of sexuality and identity may have been changed or further in the bases of the book.
- Discuss final takeaways from the novel, discuss what lessons and or information the author was trying to convey through the story.
- Instruct students to go on their electronic devices and go to Kahoot.com.
- Pass-out handouts for those who do not have electronic devices.
- Individually students will answer question on the shown on the board, while following along on paper if necessary.
- Once finished with the quiz, the list of questions will be shown on the board above in order that they were presented.
- As a class each question will be reviewed, students will be asked to try and find examples in the book of where these themes, ideas, and scenarios were presented within the book.
- Once the class is able to identify where in the novel these ideas come from we will discuss why they are important to the text as a whole.
- Finally end the discussion with asking the class why they feel this book is important. What messages does this book share that could influence and teach people.
“Ace and Aro 101 Pamphlet.” The Ace and Aro Advocacy Project, taaap.org/learn/101-pamphlet/.
“Asexuality Archive.” Asexuality Archive, www.asexualityarchive.com/.
“Gender Spectrum.” Gender Spectrum, www.genderspectrum.org/.
Acer. “Opening the Door to Self-Discovery.” Opening the Door to Self-Discovery | The Asexual Visibility and Education Network, www.asexuality.org/?q=node%2F41.
“Aromantic-Spectrum Union for Recognition, Education, and Advocacy.” AUREA, 2019, www.aromanticism.org/.
“Pflag Ace and Aro Resources.” PFLAG, 31 Dec. 2024, pflag.org/resource/ace-aro-resources/.
Jennadewitt. “Asexuality and Aromanticism Resources.” Invisible Cake Society, 19 Feb. 2025, invisiblecakesociety.com/2020/10/04/resources-on-asexuality-and-aromanticism/.
R/Aromanticasexual, www.reddit.com/r/aromanticasexual/.
